Welcome to Holland and other places!

Last week our oldest son turned 23 and I realized today that there are some
people out there reading our blog that may not have "the scoop" as to how
we got from here to there. Well, it's been quite a ride over the years. So
many ups and downs, I hardly know where to start, but perhaps Chris is the
best place.

Twenty-three years ago we had our precious birth son Chris, we had been
trying for years, had even begun talking about adoption then, but God blessed
us with our beautiful son, Christopher! All seemed to be going well with
Chris, he was babbling, cruising around furniture, playing patty-cake and all
the typical one year old activities. Ahhhh, life was good.

Then a few weeks after his first birthday tragedy struck, what started out
as a simple ear infection suddenly turned ugly. Within hours he had a
temperature over 105 and a Grand Mal seizure. This after many frantic calls to the
Pediatrician who didn't much appreciate a first time Mom interrupting her
Sat. afternoon. Things didn't improve much at the E.R. Even with Tylenol
suppositories after constant cool baths, he still fought this terrible fever.
Finally, it went down to 101 and they admitted him, but things weren't over,
in his room he had another seizure this time his temp. was 106.5! This was
the end of the life we had planned.

No more babbling, no more toddling, just regression and more seizures.
Within a year Chris was diagnosed with severe Autism and Epilepsy. I didn't take
that news very well and felt so helpless. We did all things all parents do
with a child with Autism, we tried different therapies, different
medications, different treatments, you get the idea. Mom's are supposed to make their
babies all better, right???

But Chris has taught me more than any textbook or other person ever could.
I have learned from him, patience, endurance, empathy, humility, and undying
love. I know people think I must love him less, but the secret I don't
share with them is I love him so much more. We are commanded to be Christlike,
yet how can we ever hope to be, sinners that we are (and we are all
sinners),surely our dearest son is far closer to that goal than I can ever hope to
be!

It was a difficult struggle but as Chris grew older he did mellow. When
young, his hyperactivity levels were right off the charts, his sleep completely
erratic, but God in his mercy, slowed Chris down a bit for us. Making him
manageable and bringing our thoughts back to adoption. We never questioned
our desire to adopt children with special needs, it felt like we were using
the wisdom God had given us through Chris's struggles for a purpose beyond our
own desires.

I'm attaching a story someone shared with me shortly after Chris's was
diagnosed. It seemed so true at the time and even more so for today. Without
Chris, we never would have made it to Korea or Hong Kong or China and for THAT
I am eternally grateful!

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by
Emily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a
disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to
understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation
trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans.
The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn
some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your
bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess
comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy!
I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and
there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible,
disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a
different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new
language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have
met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than
Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath,
you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and
Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're
all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of
your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what
I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the
loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to
Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things
... about Holland.
</HTML>

Pictures Please!

I don't know why, but my pictures didn't post. Stinker!

Then and Now

Today I and two of my little group, got the chance to travel up to Kalamazoo to say farewell to a wonderful lady and friend, our social worker Jan Rachor. Social Worker seems like such an insignificant name for someone who not only united your children with you, but encouraged and held your hand through all the ups and downs of the adoption experience. We will truly miss this dear lady, who was such a blessing to our family. May God Bless Jan and her family as she starts this new life experience. The pictures above are her with our daughter Caitlyn about 6 months after Caty arrived, then the other taken today. Almost 10 years exactly apart! We look forward to introducing her to Jilei when he arrives. I wrote the following in 1999, shortly after Jon's arrival, Jan's picture is right next to it in his scrapbook!

Jonny's Little Prayer

It took so many helping hands
from half a world away.
They passed me oh so gently
to bring me home today.

They loved me from the very start
these precious angels did.
They held me close with open hearts
and kept me safe within.

Some gave me Hope, some gave me Care,
but all with arms stretched wide
looked for the perfect family
my home they did provide.

And now with humble thank-yous said
I send this little prayer
that God in all his graciousness
will bless you for your care!

step 2 of 4 complete !

So we have our notice from the National Visa Center, meaning things here in the States are done and the ball is back over in China's court. China has 2 steps it must complete before we can travel. The first is their Article 5, what ever that is, that can take from a couple weeks to a month, then they issue our travel invitation a couple weeks after the Article 5. So we are still looking at late Sept., probably more like Oct. to actually travel. A good week for us all in all!

Praise God!

We got great news today. An adoption grant we had applied to months ago was approved for $3,500! We already had a grant from our adoption agency, Bethany, for $10,000. We are so grateful for this assistance, it will pay the last of our adoption fees, just leaving us with the travel to pay for~no small amount, I'm told to expect that to be about $6,000. All the same this is huge blessing and demonstration of God's love of the orphan and downtrodden. We humbly thank Gift of Adoption and Bethany Christian Services for their generous help in completing Jilei's adoption.

Step 1 of 4 complete~Well, sort of..........

I'm happy to report the paperwork we have been waiting for is approved. At least our Social Worker got her copy yesterday and The Dept. of Homeland Security says it was approved the 9th. But it's still not in my mailbox. Hopefully it will appear in the next day or two. I don't think not actually having the paper in hand will hold up out next step, The National Visa Center. We expect that will take another week or two for that step to be approved and then it's China's turn to do their part of the process. That will most likely take another month, throwing us out to Sept. I have always said Sept/Oct. but I expect actual travel is looking more like at Oct. Please keep us in prayer that things will proceed quickly and that we will keep our spirits high. Most of all continue to pray for our Dear Jilei who waits for his family.

On another note I have yet another picture to share. The boy in blue is Liam and the goofy boy hiding behind his bag is Jiei! It is so wonderful to see his silly side. All we really can do is look at his pictures trying to decipher his every emotion. What I see is a little boy who can bond closely to his friend and isn't afraid to show it. I also a young man with a sense of humor. Something good to have in our home! These photos have been a wonderful gift and encouragement to us.

The Adoption Jackpot!

God was good to us this weekend. Another family recently returned home from Shanghai with their son, who was in the same orphanage as Jilei. It turns out Liam and Jilei were friends. They shared the same dorm room and took Tae Kwon Do together. Liam shared some tidbits about Jilei, which I'm just going to paste at the end of the blog update. The best news is that Jilei was in some of the pictures Liam brought with him! Liam is the boy in the pictures with Jilei. We really have to thank Liam and his Mom, Judy, for going to this extra trouble at a very hectic time in their lives. So this is what Liam had to say about Jilei:

Jilei knows he is coming to America.
He is a good boy.
He is in 5th grade.
He does Tae Kwon Do.
He gets along with other kids. He's Liam's friend and he's nice to Liam.
Jilei was Liam's dorm room.
Liam said he doesn't get upset or angry.

So all in all a very good report on our boy. He sounds like a keeper to me! Now if we could just get our doc.'s from Home Land Security so we could move on in this process! That's right, our tax dollars go towards checking out that no 10 year old terrorists are being adopted! Good Grief, enough already!!!